Will wonders never cease
by velja
Summary: Sequel to 'Don't hide from me'. This won't make sense if you haven't read that.In Harry's fifth year he celebrates Christmas and New Year with Sirius at Grimmauld Place and it will be Holidays both he and Snape won't forget. SNARRY SLASH, ABANDONED, SORRY
1. Chapter 1

**This is the first part of a sequel to my story "Don't hide from me" (so you should read that one first, otherwise you won't get what's going on here), but it's more of a prequel than a sequel right now because most of this is a flashback of what happened on New Year's Eve. How Harry and Snape ended up in bed together won't be revealed yet, but like I said, it's only the first part of what I 'm determined to put into a longer story.**

**There is nothing but a small idea inside my head right now, but I hope with a little help from you and your reviews I will be able to develop a complete story with an actual plot.**

**So here it goes, enjoy…**

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**Will wonders never cease**

**Chapter One**

Once again Harry woke up not knowing for a brief moment where he was or who's snoring had roused him from his for once pleasant dreams. But this time it didn't take long for him to recognize the pale chest and black hair next to him as belonging to Snape.

No, not Snape.

Earlier it had been simply Severus.

Severus who had kissed him and held him as if there was no tomorrow.

But now… tomorrow had come.

Well, not exactly. It was the same day still, for they'd only slept for a few hours. Harry assumed it was somewhere around early afternoon on New Year's Day.

But it could have been the next day or the day after that for Harry because it sure as hell felt exactly like that. Last night, or rather this morning, was so far away right now…

… waking up next to Snape without knowing how or why, the awkwardness and all that arguing, the sudden revelation regarding the Potions master, more like an epiphany to Harry…

Everything seemed so far away, like a dream or a story he'd once read… not like it had happened at all.

But the snogging… well, that was the one part still branded on Harry's mind. Fresh, with every detail palpable. After all, it had been his first kiss ever!

Thinking about that Harry felt heat rushing to his face and, blushing furiously, he turned his head once again to look at the sleeping form next to him.

Snape looked so peacefully in sleep. Eyes that normally threw around piercing glares were now covered by long dark lashes and the lines that constant frowning and smirking had edged into the man's pale face were smoothed out for once. And… was that a smile tugged at one corner of the mouth that had felt so surprisingly soft in kissing?

Harry's heart hammered against his ribcage at the sight of Snape smiling. He looked relaxed, content even.

'And all because of me?' Harry wondered and thought about the countless times he and his friends in school had talked, after another horrible potions class, about what it would take to make the sour Potions master lighten up a bit.

What would Ron and Hermione think if he told them a night in bed with Harry Potter did wonders for Snape's temper?

"Oh God!" Harry gasped suddenly. Ron and Hermione! They were with him at Grimmauld Place for the Holidays! As in here, right now, probably in a room next door! What if they had heard him and Snape… doing whatever they had been doing? Was it possible they had seen something going on last night? Had there been something to see at last night's celebration? How had he and Snape ended up in the same room, the same bed, after all?

Harry tried very hard to recall their celebrations and with much effort yesterday's events unfolded slowly in his head. He was able to recall the smell of Kreacher's surprisingly good Chocolate cookies and finally a view of the festive sitting room developed in front of Harry's inner eye.

Several small Christmas trees were enchanted to adorn the wooden ceiling and garlands of holly and mistletoe were floating around everyone's head. Sirius had outdone himself in decorating the place for the holidays, being overly happy to have them all there to celebrate with him in his house. The decorations were left-overs from Christmas mostly, but Sirius had also hung up a large banner reading "Happy New Year, everyone! Let's have fun!" .

And fun was truly had, until...

Harry was slouching in front of the cozy fireplace, exhausted from dancing and running around the room in joy. He was clutching a large tumbler of Firewhiskey in his hands that somehow didn't seem to get empty no matter how many sips he was taking from it. Sirius must have spelled all the glasses to be self-refilling, how neat!

'So, no matter what, I can always say it's still my first glass!' Harry thought with a silly and definitely more than slightly sloshed grin on his face. He forced his eyes to concentrate back on Remus next to him who was telling stories of former Christmas celebrations with Harry's parents and Sirius.

The latter was currently dancing wildly around the enormous Christmas tree with a very flustered Hermione, Ron watching them from afar, when there was suddenly a loud 'Bang!' coming from the entrance hall. A moment later the door was thrown open and then Snape stormed into the room, his billowing robe spotted with quickly melting patches of snow. His cheeks were flushed from the cold outside and his eyes held a dangerous glint when he stepped into Sirius' path, bringing the dance to a quick halt.

"What is the meaning of this, Black?" he drawled while waving a crumbled sheet of parchment into Sirius' face.

Harry watched Sirius break into a mischievous grin when he replied:

"Why, Snivellus, I know that you probably haven't been invited to any party, ever, in your miserable life, so… I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you didn't recognize an invite as such. So let me spell it out for you: This," he grabbed the paper from Snape's hands, "is an invitation to our little New Year's Eve party."

"I know what it is, you stupid mongrel," Snape spat angrily. "What I demand to know is why I had to have the displeasure of receiving it! Why on earth would you assume that I would want to be invited to," he gestured mockingly around the room, "this? Even a brainless cur like you should know that I would never partake in a celebration with you and your no-good-friends. And besides, why anyone would want to celebrate the end of another year with you alive is far beyond me! I'd rather bare the 'Cruciatus' from the Dark Lord himself than celebrate with you!"

"Then why are you here?"

Every pair of eyes in the room stared disbelievingly at Hermione, who had thrown the question back at Snape off-handedly. When Snape turned his glaring stare to where she stood next to Sirius Hermione braced herself for the stinging remark that had to come after such a display of disrespect towards a teacher.

But none came. It seemed as if Hermione's comment had taken all the wind out of Snape's sails.

"I…" he broke off and growled a lame "That is none of your business, Miss Granger!" at the irritating know-it-all before turning back to Sirius with every intent to continue his tirade.

But it seemed as if Hermione had already been looking too deeply into her tumbler of Firewhiskey. 'That or she's really having a sudden death-wish,' Harry thought dumbfounded as he watched her making a determined step forward and placing herself right between Sirius and a fuming Snape.

"Excuse me, Professor," Harry heard her say, "but it is kind of my business if you intend to ruin our party. I won't believe that you've come all the way from Hogwarts through the snow simply to ask Sirius why he was so kind as to invite you. It seems to me like a nice enough gesture. So, please sir, either you come out and say what you have to say on that matter or you will step aside and let us dance!" And with a special glint in her eyes she had the nerve to add: "Oh, and perhaps you'd like to have a drink against the cold."

Harry couldn't believe it! How could Hermione of all people stand there throwing cheeky remarks at Snape. Hermione, who'd ever been the voice of reason, telling him every time Snape had thrown something nasty his way to stay calm and respectful because Snape was, after all, still their teacher. And now this!

And offering a drink to him!

Harry waited, like everyone else in the room, with held breath for Snape to react in some way or another.

He knew for sure that baiting the potions master like this would never go unpunished. But Snape looked too dumbfounded himself to even react to such cheek.

So after a few seconds in which you could have heard a needle drop despite the ongoing music from one corner of the room, Hermione shrugged and pulled a shock shelled Sirius away with her towards the dancing space.

Snape watched them go with a fierce glint in his eyes, his cheeks no longer red from the earlier cold but from sheer embarrassment.

'Miss Granger, that insufferable girl, how dare she…'

Suddenly Snape seemed to become aware of the other occupants of the room, all staring at him open-mouthed and dim-witted. Without any further ado he turned on the spot, robes billowing widely around his tall body, and stormed out of the door.

And before Harry could think of anything to say about the hated teacher's strange and yet typical behavior, Remus Lupin had suddenly lifted his lanky body from the couch and strode after Snape in long strides.

Harry could only gape at the closing door.

For what felt like half an hour or, more precisely, two and a half tumblers of Firewhiskey, Harry sat on the couch in front of the fire and thought about earlier. Why had Remus gone after Snape? And why had Snape come in the first place? Had Sirius really sent him an invitation?

His godfather should have known that something like that would only set Snape off to do something nasty, like crashing the party. On second thought, of cause Sirius had known an invite would set Snape off, that was probably why he'd sent one in the first place!

Damn, Harry loved his godfather, he really did, but sometimes he just wished Sirius to be more… mature? Clever?

Because, no matter what prank Sirius pulled, whatever nasty snarling-fest took place between Sirius and Snape, Harry would always have to be the one to bare the consequences. Because Snape would always find a way to take it out on him, wouldn't he? He didn't need excuses, just the fact that he was Sirius' godson or James' son or The-Boy-Who-Lived was enough for Snape to get back at him.

Every time.

And Harry was sick and tired of it.

And now there was the punishment for Hermione's cheek tonight on top of it all. Harry just knew that Snape would somehow find a way to blame him for all of it and he would sure as hell think of something to punish Harry with.

Maybe he was thinking of something to get back at Harry right now, probably on his way back to his dark and chilly dungeons at Hogwarts. Thinking of something nasty…

Harry heard the door open and looked up to see Remus walk back into the room.

"Or… maybe not!" Harry murmured into his glass when he saw that Remus was followed closely by… Snape.

'Maybe I'm drunk and hallucinating?' Harry thought desperate for it to be true. But no, it was definitely Severus Snape who paced slowly over to the small table that held the beverages. Harry watched him grab one of the many empty tumblers, fill it with a golden liquid and emptying it in one go, waiting impatiently for it to refill itself and then repeating the drowning several times over. It looked like Snape was determined to get very drunk very quickly.

"Really good idea," Harry thought and downed his glass as well. "But if I have to stand the sight of the greasy git all night, I need something stronger than Firewhiskey to get me through!"

* * *

That was mostly all Harry remembered from last night's events. Well, apart from a few broken pieces of his very strange conversation with Remus shortly after the werewolf had returned with Snape in tow.

Harry remembered walking, or rather swaying, over to where Remus stood near one of the windows. By that time he'd had more than his fair share to drink, otherwise he'd never have said to Remus the first thing on his mind when he'd seen Snape stride back into the room. Besides, without his inebriated state he'd never have had that kind of thought in the first place.

"I've to admit," he'd slurred with a nod towards where Snape stood alone in a corner, "that man knows how to radiate heat even in the coolest company."

Remus had nearly choked on his drink, but after he'd calmed down enough for his throat to work properly again he'd smiled mysteriously and had answered:

"I know what you mean, Harry. You should have seen Severus in our last year in school. I suppose he'd just joined the Death Eaters for he was suddenly so self-esteemed, so confident." A far-away-dream-look had ghosted over Remus' face when he'd added:

"He was sex on legs, I assure you."

Harry had smiled as well, for he could just imagine what Snape had looked like then.

And that had been the beginning of a very strange and very revealing talk about the sex appeal of Severus Snape.

Even thinking about it now, as he sat on the bed next to the object of last night's talk with Remus, Harry felt a hot blush creep to his cheeks.

If Harry had put the fuzzy details of Remus word's together correctly he had to admit now that their views on Snape and sex and men in general were very similar. Harry hadn't known that Remus was gay, the thought had never even crossed his mind. But then again, he hadn't thought about his own sexuality swinging that way ever before either. He didn't know, was he even really gay?

Just because he thought Snape was sexy didn't mean he preferred men in general, did it? Well, okay… waking up naked next to the man he found sexy seemed to underline that train of thought… and the kissing had definitely been… hot, to say the least.

But what about Cho? He did like her, didn't he?

Harry thought about the way his entrails always seemed to squirm around in his stomach whenever he looked at the Ravenclaw girl. But then he threw a glance at the still sleeping potions master beside him and thought about the kisses they'd shared earlier that morning… and Harry had to admit that his guts had their own way of deciding who he liked more, men or women. Right now his insides felt like snakes sliding round and round…

… and that wasn't the aftermath of the alcohol speaking. No, Harry was sure of it. Whatever he'd thought he'd felt for Cho, it hadn't been… that.

And what he felt for Snape, for Severus… Harry didn't know where to start with contemplating his feelings. And besides, it surely wasn't the right time now to think about revelations concerning his sexuality.

Not when he still didn't know how he and Snape had ended up in bed together in the first place. And as much as he tried to force his brain, Harry couldn't even remember talking to Snape at all last night. Let alone anything beyond talking!

The sudden loud grumbling of his stomach pulled Harry away from his thoughts at last. He was starting to get hungry and he didn't know how long he'd been sitting here, next to a sleeping Snape, thinking about last night.

It had to be late afternoon by now, so it really was a wonder no one had come barging into this room and trying to wake him. Or… didn't the others dare to come in? Did they know he was here with Snape? Had the two of them done something so obvious, something for everyone to know?

As much as Harry dreaded the truth, for he knew for sure that Ron's, Hermione's or least of all Sirius' reaction to him kissing Snape would be anything but friendly, well…

…as much as Harry dreaded it, his curiosity finally got the better of him and he just wanted to know how much of last night's events had taken place in public. He just wanted to get it over with.

So with one last glimpse at the peacefully quiet display Snape in bed was presenting, Harry slowly stumbled out of the bed and looked around for his clothes.

The first item Harry lifted from the ground turned out to be a large black robe, definitely not his own. A few steps away Harry found the rest of Snape's clothing, the well-known inner robe with it's thousands of small black buttons crumpled in a small pile.

But where the hell had he left his own things? What had he been wearing at all to the party? Definitely no school robes, that Harry knew for a fact.

He looked around frantically and finally spotted a pair of blue jeans and a green button-down shirt under a chair near the window.

Harry quickly pulled the jeans over his legs, for a moment wondering where his underwear had ended up. Then he pulled the shirt on and stepped bare-foot into his trainers. His socks had apparently vanished, too.

Well, maybe he would get them back later. Right now all Harry wanted was to leave this room unnoticed by any other occupant of the house. Hopefully he would make it to his own room on the second floor without being seen, no matter that he didn't even know which landing this guest room was on.

He was in dire need of a shower and a change of clothes before he could even begin to try finding Ron or Hermione. Their reaction would tell him how much they knew about last night without having to ask, he was sure of that.

So Harry quietly opened the door to the hallway and slipped silently out of the bedroom. Looking around he found himself in the same hallway he'd walked down several times for the last few days. So that meant Ron's and his' room was a bit further down to the left with Hermiones' opposite of it.

Harry braced himself and crept slowly down the hallway towards his room. He listened closely for any signs of his friends, but there was no sound at all.

Relieved Harry entered his bedroom and went for his trunk to retrieve fresh clothes. Then he made his way over to the adorning bathroom and took a quick shower. He tried not to dwell on thoughts of kissing Snape too much.

For that would definitely lead to colored cheeks and twisted entrails and that would furthermore lead to other body parts perking up interested in getting a little action themselves. And that Harry absolutely wouldn't be doing before he knew for sure what had happened with him and Snape.

So Harry didn't linger in the shower longer as necessary but went out of the bathroom only ten minutes later, freshly clothed and anxious to meet any of his friends.

What would they say? How much did they know?

Harry took a shaky breath and went downstairs to the kitchen.

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**TBC...**

**Please let me know what you think of this by reviewing.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next part of "Will wonders never cease" and I hope you'll still like it. I'd like to thank all who sent a review to the first chapter (BlissBeMine - Cazza31 - me - Winoniel - spacemonkey87), thank you so much for your kind words.**

**To spacemonkey87: Your concern over Severus' reaction to Harry's leaving gave me the idea on how this chapter end, so thanks again! I hope you're not too disappointed with Severus' reaction.**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR, not me. **

**Okay, here we go then...**

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**  
Will wonders never cease **

**Chapter Two**

On his way to the kitchen Harry listened closely for any signs of the other occupants of the house. They couldn't all be in bed still, could they? Remus, Sirius, all the Weasley's… they had to be somewhere.

After all, Ron hadn't been in their bedroom, so that meant he had to be up at last. And somehow Harry just couldn't imagine Hermione spending a whole day in bed, wasting precious time she could use up reading. No, Hermione would never give up a chance to learn.

On the other hand… Harry would never have thought Hermione would talk to a teacher the way she'd been talking to Snape last night.

Who would have thought?

But, sure enough, when Harry took the last steps of the stairs and crossed the entrance hall, he could make out two different voices coming from the kitchen.

He paused in front of the door and peered through the small gap. Yeah, alright… that was Hermione talking to an obviously still tired Ron.

'Okay, showtime!' Harry thought and took a deep breath before he shoved the door aside and walked into the dimly lit kitchen.

Hermione and Ron looked up from where they were sitting at the table, both holding tea cups in their hands.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed and jumped up so quickly that her chair started to wobble dangerously. "There you are!" And then she crushed him in a big hug.

"Hi," Harry smiled and hugged his friend back cautiously, "how are you?"

"Ugh, well…" Hermione stepped back and Harry could see a blush forming on her face when she sat back down.

"Don't ask, mate," Ron answered for her. "She stopped being sick just 'bout an hour ago!"

"Oh, shut up, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione fired back. "You haven't been that peachy yourself, have you?"

Harry noticed Ron being paler than normal but he was still looking better than Hermione. The girl sported dark bags under her eyes and her cheeks were flushed crimson. So it had been the Firewhiskey talking last night after all.

Harry smiled and walked up to the counter to pour himself a cup of tea. The mint spiced drink smelled delicious and seemed to be just the right thing for his nerves. Harry took a deep gulp and sighed inwardly. Then he remembered something:

"Oh, by the way, happy new year, you two!"

"Happy new year, Harry!" his friends answered promptly and grinned into their tea cubs before continuing to take slow sips in silence.

"Harry," Hermione addressed him after a while, "where did you sleep?"

"What?" Harry nearly choked on his tea. 'So here it goes then!' he thought and braced himself for what was to come.

"Ron said you didn't sleep in your room tonight, so…"

Harry felt his cheeks go red immediately and he mumbled into his cup:

"Ugh, well…"

"Don't remember much, do you, mate?" Ron's voice held no malice at all, just compassion, so Harry dared to risk a quick glance at both his friends. Ron's face showed a mixture of sympathy and curiosity and Hermione just looked as if she was in pain. Maybe her stomach hadn't calmed down after all.

"Well," Harry started, thinking about how much to let slip for now, "I woke up in a bed in one of the guest rooms."

"Figured as much," Ron nodded.

"Lucky you," Hermione murmured suddenly, "at least you woke up in a bed." Then she blushed again furiously.

"What?" Harry inquired, suddenly curious. "Where did you wake up then?"

"Ugh, at the foot of the stairs." Hermione ducked her head quickly.

"Huh?" Ron exclaimed all of a sudden. "You never said a thing! Why didn't you tell me?"

"You didn't ask," Hermione shot back and added fiercely: "It wasn't exactly the best night of my life, waking up like that, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Harry sighed when he thought about his first waking up, slightly confused and in panic at the view of a naked male body next to him.

"Do you, Harry? Do you really?" Hermione jumped up and glared at her friends. "Because I don't think waking up in a cozy guest room compares only slightly to waking up dizzy with cobwebs in your hair and Kreacher's big round eyes staring down on you!"

She stormed briskly towards the door but Harry's next words made her stop rooted to the spot.

"No, but waking up to a naked Snape does!"

"What?"

Both Hermione and Ron stared at Harry open-mouthed and shell shocked.

"Say that again, mate." Ron's voice nearly doubled over from shock.

"Ups…" Harry gave his friend a lopsided grin and then his head banged against the tabletop in a dull thump.

So much for keeping it quiet and being sneaky in finding out the truth.

* * *

Half an hour later Harry was finally convinced that up to his foolish slip of tongue his friends had been completely oblivious to the fact that something had been going on between him and Snape last night.

Nobody could fake such a shock in hearing something like that.

Ron hadn't said anything beyond "No!" and "Ugh, stop it!" and Hermione's stomach had been having even more problems digesting the news. She'd fled from the room in search for the nearest toilet and had come back a few minutes later exhausted and slightly green in the face.

And after that Hermione had reduced her opinion to comments like: "But he's a teacher, Harry! I hope he won't take points for that!"

So aside from being embarrassed Harry now felt quite sure that at least he and Snape hadn't behaved like complete idiots by showing awkward public affections at the party.

But that was all Harry knew for sure. He was still no step closer to finding out how he and Snape had ended up in bed in the first place. And that irked him greatly!

But if he and Snape didn't remember (and the potions master had shown no sign of it this morning, had he?), and his friends didn't have a clue either, who was left to tell?

And then Harry suddenly knew.

"Ugh guys, I need to go," he stood up from the table and placed his empty tea cup on the counter.

"Where to?" Hermione asked.

"Ugh, I need to…"

"You're not going to him, are you?" the girl nearly fell over her words. "Because, Harry, no matter what happened last night, you can't… I mean…" she broke off and signaled for Ron to help her out.

"Yeah, mate, look," the redhead continued, "you don't want to see the greasy git now, do you? I know I wouldn't if it had been me he'd bugged!"

"Ron!" Hermione cried.

"What?" Ron answered, "I said 'bugged', not 'buggered'! Though…"

"Hey!" Harry turned around forcefully and faced his friends. "He didn't bugger me, okay?"

"He didn't?"

"No!" Harry shouted, "At least I think not! And…" Harry shushed Hermione's next words with a hand wave, "and he didn't bug me either. I don't know what happened at all and that's why I have to talk to Remus. Maybe he… knows something."

"Oh, right." An embarrassed smile crept over Hermione's face. "Maybe."

"So," Harry turned to the door once again, "I'm going to talk to Remus now, okay?"

"Okay. And… Harry?" Hermione added softly, "We're really sorry for freaking out that much, aren't we Ron?"

The redhead received a kick to the shin and stuttered: "What? Ow, damn! Yes, yes we are!"

"Thanks," Harry smiled, suddenly nervous, "and… don't tell anyone, okay?"

"Sure, Harry!"

When Harry reached the kitchen door he heard Ron mutter silently:

"Who would believe us anyway?"

"Ron!" Hermione gasped and shouted loud enough for Harry to hear: "Remus is in the backyard, Harry!"

Harry turned away from the stairs he had been about to climb to look for Remus upstairs and instead made his way over to the small living room. He crossed it quickly and left through the open double glass door that led to the backyard of Grimmauld Place.

* * *

After Harry had left the kitchen, Ron and Hermione continued to sit at the table, each lost in their own thoughts.

Hermione kept on muttering about house points under her breath while Ron tried to wrap his mind around the fact that Harry had seemed frighteningly determined to defend the greasy git.

What if Harry really didn't mind what had happened as much as he should? What if he was really gay?

Their thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a large shadow falling over their heads and onto the table.

Hermione looked up and gasped. She was staring straight into the glaring face of none other than Snape.

"P…Pro… Professor Sn… Snape!" she stuttered. "Ugh, good… afternoon!"

"Granger, Weasley." Snape indicated a curt nod before his eyes traveled around the kitchen and he snarled:

"Where is Potter?"

"Why?" Ron shot back immediately and received today's second kick in the shin from Hermione.

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously and his rigid back straightened even further.

'He knows," Hermione thought, desperately thinking of something to say, 'he knows that we know!'

"Ugh, Harry is in the backyard with Remus. He needed to talk to him," she finally told Snape.

Obviously that had been the wrong thing to say, for Snape turned around on the spot and strode wordlessly back to the door.

Hermione stared after him and then, with a short glance towards Ron who sat there motionless, she stormed after Snape out of the kitchen.

"Professor?" she shouted at Snape's retreating back and waited for him to turn around. When he didn't but merely halted in his stride for a second Hermione walked up to him and placed herself bravely between his tall body and the entrance door. She searched his eyes and asked softly:

"Is there anything you want me to tell Harry?"

Snape seemed surprised by the question and for one short moment Hermione thought she saw a flicker of emotion in the potions master's dark eyes.

"Tell him…"

Snape closed his eyes for a brief second and when he opened them again they were as hard and unfeeling as ever.

"Tell Potter and that mongrel of his dogfather not to disturb my privacy by sending stupid invitations ever again!"

And with that Snape hurried by a stunned Hermione and rushed out of the house.

**TBC...**

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**I know this chapter is kind of short and not much is happening, but this felt like a good time to stop for now. Suggestions for what to happen are really welcome, so feel free to leave your opinion. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the terribly long delay, RL got in the way of inspiration. I hope you like the next part. Thanks for all your nice reviews.  
For disclaimer and everything see previous parts.**

** Will wonders never cease**

**Chapter Three**

To Harry it felt like the remaining days of the Holidays had gone by in a blur and his last night at Grimmauld Place had somehow arrived within a blink of an eye.

Now his school trunk was packed ready and stood waiting next to the bed where he was currently sitting.

Tomorrow Harry would return to Hogwarts.

And he would see Snape again.

Harry still hadn't gotten over the fact that the potions master had left on New Year's Day without so much as a word. It hurt.

Not that he couldn't understand Snape's leaving, he really could. After all, wasn't it his own fault?

Harry knew it was but that didn't make things better. It still hurt. He'd desperately wished that things had gone differently on New Year's Day but they hadn't.

The memories of that day were still fresh in his mind. Harry could recall nearly every detail of his talk with Remus in the backyard.

His complete and utterly useless talk with Remus. He'd gone to question the werewolf, in some kind of sneaky Slytherin manner of cause, whether he'd noticed something going on between Harry and Snape at the party but Remus had been even more vague in recalling last night's events than Harry.

Perhaps the former Defense teacher had been suffering from hang-over as well.

All Remus had been able to summon up from last night's party was that he'd somehow been successful in convincing Snape to stay and have a drink instead of rushing back to Hogwarts in fury.

"Why?" Harry had asked then. "Why did you want him to stay?"

Remus had then explained to Harry how Dumbledore had repeatedly urged all Order members to finally accept Snape as one of them and that it had somehow seemed a good idea to start with a drink at a party.

And Remus had told Harry that he'd been the one to suggest sending Snape an invitation in the first place. Convincing the host of the party to actually do it hadn't been easy but in the end Sirius had agreed, grouching and grumbling, to try getting along with Snape.

"As long as I don't have to actually talk to him I can tolerate the greasy git," Sirius had said when he'd tied the hastily written invitation to an owl's leg to send it off to the potions master.

After that Harry had tried to turn the conversation back to the previous evening and soon he and Remus had once again arrived at their shared opinion on men as preferable sexual partners.

Harry had contemplated telling Remus about his epiphany regarding Snape and he'd been about to confess waking up in bed with his potions teacher when suddenly Sirius had shown up in the backyard, happy to having found Harry awake eventually. Sirius had suggested going back into the house for a late afternoon tea or an early dinner, whatever you'd like to call eating sandwiches at quarter past five, and feeling his stomach grumble loudly Harry had agreed readily.

He'd known then that Remus wouldn't be able to tell him how he and Snape had ended up together, or the werewolf would have stirred the conversation in that direction right away. So Harry had to find out what had happened on his own, or maybe with Snape's help.

Maybe the potions master would be willing to share his memories of last night's events now that he'd slept a few more hours undisturbed.

Harry had wondered if he should go to the guest room to talk to Snape in private first or if he should wait for the potions master to come down.

He'd still been undecided on that matter when he'd entered the sitting room through the glass doors following Sirius and Remus and he'd noticed Hermione sitting on a sofa gesturing for him to join her.

Then the decision had been taken from him because she had told him then that Snape had left Grimmauld Place in a hurry.

"He was angry and he said something nasty, something like that you and Sirius should not disturb his privacy ever again," Hermione had whispered cautiously.

"But why… I mean," Harry had stammered, "I didn't do anything! I didn't even get the chance to explain…"

"I thought you didn't remember how you ended up… there?" Hermione had asked then. "How could you explain?"

"No, not that." He'd shaken his head and added: "I mean… about when he kissed me and…"

"_He_ kissed _you_??"

"Shht!" Harry had thrown a panicked look around the room at her outburst. "Hermione, shut up! I don't need everyone to know!"

"Relax, Harry. They've gone to the kitchen," the girl had replied irritated. Then she'd added cautiously: "So,** he **kissed you?"

"Yeah," Harry had mumbled with a dreamy look on his face.

"Okay, so he can't be mad at you for that, can he?"

Harry had simply shrugged.

"What else happened?" Hermione had asked after a short silence.

"Nothing!" At Hermione's incredulous look Harry had insisted: "Really nothing, Hermione. He kissed me, I kissed him back, we… ugh… we snu-snuggled and then fell asleep again. That's all, I swear!"

"And then?"

"Nothing, really!" Harry's voice had held an exasperated undertone. "We slept, I woke up, I dressed and went to take a shower and then I went downstairs to find you! That's all, full stop."

Then Hermione's eyes had grown large and she'd inquired:

"He was still asleep when you left?"

"Yeah, I didn't dare to wake him. He looked so… different in sleep. Peaceful, you know?" Harry had risked a slight smile at the memory but when he looked at his friend's sad comprehensive face he'd sobered up quickly.

"Oh, Harry!"

"What?"

"You're really that dense, aren't you?" Hermione had answered annoyed. "Think, Harry! You didn't talk to him at all after…?"

"What? So, you think Snape's mad at me because…" Harry had wondered aloud.

"Of cause he's mad!" Hermione had exclaimed, "You woke up and left! Think about it, Harry. How would you feel in his place? Falling asleep with someone and then waking up alone, without so much as a word of goodbye?"

"I'd feel…" Harry had stopped shocked.

"Rejected? Dumped? Fooled?" Hermione had offered.

"Oh, shit!" Harry had buried his face in his hands at her words but then he'd jumped off the couch, ready to bold from the room. "I need to talk to him!"

"Harry, stop!" Hermione's command had stopped him halfway to the door. "There's nothing you can do now, he's gone. And that's probably for the best."

"What?" Harry had turned around to face his friend on the couch. "For the best? Why would you think that?"

"Because, Harry!"

"Oh, really good, Hermione!"

"Harry, what's wrong with you?" Hermione had suddenly shouted and jumped up as well. She'd walked up to him and glared right into his face.

"Seriously, Harry. You can't be thinking of something good to come out of this mess, can you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Hermione had answered determined, "what do you expect? What do you even want? You can't be thinking of having a relationship with him! Harry, it's Professor Snape we're talking about! He's an adult! He's more than twice your age and he's a man! An angry and unpleasant man. He's your teacher for god's sake! Do I need to go on?"

"Don't," Harry had let out a deep sigh, "I get it."

"Good," Hermione had tried a tentative smile, "now let's go find the other's. I'm starving."

"I get it," Harry had whispered once again and had followed his friend into the kitchen.

* * *

Since then Harry and his friends hadn't lost another word on that matter, though Snape's mysterious departure on New Year's Day as well as his joining them for the party had been head topic on more than one occasion.

But Harry hadn't participated much in these conversations, he'd mostly been lost in his own thoughts.

Thoughts of Snape on 'That Night' and what had happened and what hadn't rolled around in his head day and night. Harry still didn't know for sure what had happened but was almost certain that nothing more than the few kisses had taken place between him and the potions master. A few kisses he didn't seem to be able to forget.

Although Harry knew that every word Hermione had hurled at him concerning Snape was true ("He's a teacher!" "He's more than twice your age!" "He's a man!"), none of them seemed to weigh heavy in his thoughts. Neither did they manage to stop Harry's insides from squirming around pleasantly whenever he remembered the look Snape had given him right before the potions master had stroked his long fingers over Harry's cheeks and pulled the youth's face into a desperate kiss.

A kiss so potent it had bordered on forceful, brutal even, but at the same time emotional, caring and compassionate, carrying the most tender feelings Harry had ever felt directed at him.

Carrying deep sentiments and… promises.

Promises of more.

'But now', Harry thought miserably, sitting there with his packed trunk beside the bed and his head buried in his hands, 'now everything is different. Everything is lost and I don't know what to do. I don't even know for sure what I want. I know that I've never felt like this before but does that mean that I want to be with him?'

Harry let out a deep sigh.

'And even if I knew for sure what I wanted, it doesn't mean that he'd want the same. It's highly unlikely that he would consider… that. Being with me? Participating in an inappropriate relationship? Snape? Never! Even if he were feeling the same.'

And that was the crux, wasn't it?

Harry had absolutely no clue about what Snape felt.

"Well," Harry whispered into his hands, " terms will start the day after tomorrow and then I'm sure as hell about to find out."

And, boy, was he right about that!

* * *

**TBC**

**In the meantime... let me know what you think by reviewing, please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I feel the need to apologize beforehand for this chapter. It's simply ridiculous, bordering on hilarious in large parts and disturbingly serious and grave in others. I don't know what devil possessed me to write two chapters in one day but I know for sure that either my dinner must have been spiked or I hit my head really hard today. Either way, this chapter kind of wrote itself and I couldn't do anything to stop the nonsense. And since everything I planned on putting into Chapter Four has actually found a way around the silly, I just went with the flow and posted this before tomorrow could sober me up. So, please forgive me for writing this, I hope you're still gonna like it. **

**  
WARNING: Part of this contains slightly disturbing images and talk of sexual activities. This part should be rated higher than the rest of the story for that. DO NOT READ IF EXPLICIT DESCRIPTIONS OF SEX BOTHER YOU. **

**So, this part kind of contains a new character I came up with myself. Well, it's not really a character, it's just in Snape's mind… or, well, it IS Snape's mind I'm talking about. Everything written in_ italics_ is what Snape's mind says. So Snape is really OOC here, please forgive me. It's his mind's fault.  
Oh, and I suppose I should apologize for the crappy fictive name I gave to a potion. I don't know Latin and I just thought that not all spells and potions should have to be in that language. So I used a German word for the name of a potion. Sorry for that, it sounds weird, I know. But it's done.**

** And I think I've never written that large a note before, sorry you had to suffer through my insane ramblings. Now, finally, on to…**

* * *

**Will wonders never cease **

**Chapter Four**

The castle was quiet this time of the night and neither Filch nor Mrs. Norris could be found wandering the dark halls at half past two in the morning. Not even the ghosts bothered to sweep through empty and drafty corridors when there were no students to scare away (or rather – in Peeves' case – to annoy).

Same time tomorrow it would be different, the first night after the Holidays always seemed to be the busiest one for the caretaker, his cat, the house ghosts and students alike.

But tonight was the last night before the storm, so to speak, and so tonight it was just one pair of heavy boots that paced along the stone floors, not at all concerned with being stealthy.

Only one billowing cloak swept along the dark halls, brushing over suits of armor and marble or granite statues that glittered faintly in the dim moonlight falling through the sparse windows.

Every now and then the dark clad figure let long-fingered hands slide along the damp rocks the castle walls were made of, ready to grasp… something, anything.

There was really no need for Severus Snape to be pacing the Hogwarts' corridors on the night before the students were due to come back to school. He knew that. But ever since returning to Hogwarts on New Year's Day (or rather fleeing from Grimmauld Place) Severus had been up at night wandering through empty halls and thinking instead of occupying his comfortable four-poster bed in his private quarters of the dungeons.

He didn't know what it was that kept him from his much needed sleep this time of the night but...

_Oh, don't fool yourself, Severus. You know perfectly well what's on your mind these days... and at nights all the more._

"Shut up!"

The impatiently whispered words reverberated from the stone walls around him as Severus reached another corner.

_Even talking to yourself, are you now? Well, well, Sev, that boy really got to you and you know it!_

"No, he didn't!" Severus bellowed at his own treacherous mind. "He didn't get to me, he couldn't… it couldn't be, ever."

_You know it! _The voice in his head sing-songed.

Severus briefly thought about ignoring his mind's taunting, but then again… nobody was around to witness his first step towards insanity (for he was sure that audible conversations with his own mind were one of many signs that would eventually secure him a private padded cell in St. Mungo's). So… what the hell.

"Listen, Potter didn't get to me. And by the way… nothing happened apart from a few sloppy kisses which you can easily write off to drunken foolishness, right? Right, so… there you have it. Nothing really happened!" Severus ground out forcefully.

_Oh, but you can't know for sure, can you, Sev? Who knows what dirty little things you convinced the naïve boy to do to you in your drunken foolishness? Are you so sure you didn't have a taste of his lovely, tight and gloriously fuckable ass? Who says you didn't push that utterly starved cock of yours into his lithe body over and over…_

"Stop it!" Severus growled and closed his eyes from the onslaught of images his mind conjured out of thin air at the thoughts.

…_pounding into his ass with the brutal force of a greedy old man who didn't get laid in decades, fucking the boy through the mattress and six ways to Sunday?_

_Hhm, Sev? Who knows what you did to him? Did you feed him your stiff prick? Did you stuff it between his hot red lips, made him swallow you whole and suck you dry, bring you off so hard with his supple pink tongue that your eyes crossed, your cock exploded and you came and came till the poor boy nearly choked on your spunk?_

"Stop… stop it!" Severus whispered desperately. But the voice droned on and on in his ears.

_Or did you suck him, Sev? Is that it? Did you let him fuck your mouth, did you suck that firm young piece of flesh into your greedy maw and lick it, tease the boy till he shook like a weak leaf and he cried and begged you to please let him come? That's it, Sev, isn't it? You loved to see him begging, you got off on that. You got off so hard that you came without touching your cock at all and you spilled your thick come into your pants like a teenager. And afterwards you were still so painfully hard that you slammed the boy onto his back, grabbed his trembling legs, pulled them roughly in the air and…_

"No! Stop it, stop… shut up!" Severus begged now, desperate to end this torment.

…_And then you breached his cute little ass and pounded into it over and over until he couldn't take it anymore and he cried out desperately and begged you to stop and came at the same time and then you came hard at seeing him cry, you collapsed onto the trembling body you'd just raped and…_

"SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"

Severus' sudden cry echoed through the empty corridors and made the nearby windows rattle dangerously in their frames. But it also shut the voice up effectively.

"Shut up, you son of a bitch!" Severus repeated forcefully. "That didn't happen, nothing like that ever happened."

Severus wasn't aware of the tears streaming down his pale face nor did he register the painful arousal in his too tight trousers.

All he knew was that his tormenting mind hadn't conjured these brutal and distressing images out of thin air. He'd thought about the possibility of something like this having happened ever since he'd woken up alone in bed on New Year's Day. A bed he'd hours before shared with a student, a minor, a bloody-fifteen-year-old-Harry-Potter.

And, worst of all… his mind knew as surely as did his body that he, Severus Snape, was truly capable of doing these things.

Things like that and worse.

He'd done it all.

"But I never did that to Ha- Potter. I wouldn't… I couldn't… never! Never to anyone I…" he stopped mid-sentence.

_Care about? Is that what you wanted to say?_

"Shut up!"

_Oh, so you care for the boy then?_

"I…", Severus stopped bewildered.

He had no answer to that.

* * *

After his break-down in the halls – 

"It wasn't a break-down!"

_Sure it was! You just had a break-down, Sev._

"I did not!"

_Sure you did!_

"Shut up!"

Okay then, after his 'not-a-break-down' in the halls Severus returned to his quarters and fell exhausted onto the bed. He didn't bother with removing his clothes but pulled his robe over his head, kicked off his boots and crawled under the covers in trousers and shirt.

There he lay then, at three in the morning, wary and angry and not sure what to make of the newest revelation his mind had come up with.

_So you care for the boy then?_

It couldn't be, could it? Not Harry Potter!

But then Severus remembered New Year's Morning and the look Potter had given him when he'd pled: 'Don't hide from me, Severus!'

And Severus hadn't.

For once in his miserable life, ruled by spying, lies and deception, Severus had stopped pretending and dropped the mask of indifference and scorn he was constantly forced to wear.

He'd looked at Potter – at Harry – and had found only compassion and understanding where once the well-known, and welcomed, hatred had been.

The onslaught of feelings that had captured his heart that moment had driven Severus to abandon reason for once in his life and he'd simply acted on pure instinct and want.

He'd kissed Pot… Harry then.

It had been a good kiss, not sloppy at all, no matter what he'd tried to tell his mind earlier this night.

It had been good. Passionate and tender and powerful and brutal and, did he dare to name it, loving even.

Then, without the need to speak, for everything had been said in that kiss, Harry had snuggled up to his side and they'd both gone back to sleep.

And then…

… Severus had woken up alone.

Harry had been gone.

That had been the moment when Severus had started to worry about what else had happened that night between his student and he.

Well, no matter what little they'd done, it was wrong and inappropriate and… wrong.

* * *

_You said that already, Sev._

"So? It's still true, you know. It was wrong!"

_Right_

"What?"

_You're right, it's wrong._

"Is not!"

_Is, too!_

"Is not!"

_Is, too!_

"Is… What are we arguing about again?"

_Kissing the boy is wrong._

"Right."

_For fuck's sake, whatever! What's done is done, now just get the hell on with the story!_

"Oh sure, far be it from me to ignore the wishes of my own mind."

_That's the right point of view. Finally!_

"Yes, well, if you say so. Now shut up and let me tell my story!"

* * *

Severus was still trying to come to terms with what had happened that night with Ha… Potter. And, well… that was the crux.

He didn't know.

He didn't know for sure if there'd been more to it than a few really good kisses.

And as long as he didn't know wether he'd had sex with Potter, wether it had been consentual or, God forbit, by raping the boy, Severus couldn't think of how to react to seeing the boy every day from tomorrow on. He couldn't think straight, period.

And for once his treacherous mind was in complete sync with him. So lying there huddled in his blanket Severus and his mind came to the decision that they, no, he had to find out what had happened that night, how he'd ended up naked in bed with an equally naked Potter and most of all, how much pain he'd inflicted in his drunken foolishness.

Thank God Severus' mind was a potions master as well for it knew just the right solution to the problem.

First thing tomorrow, Severus would start brewing the highly dangerous 'Vergiss-mein-nicht' Potion to retrieve his lost memories of New Year's Night's events.

With that plan formed in his mind, Severus finally fell into deep slumber.

* * *

**TBC**

**So, what do you think? I really need to know wether Snape's mind is just annoying you or not. Would you like me to continue writing Snape like that? Please, let me know!**


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